Ann’s Story
A bit of background
I’m not particularly big and never have been but that doesn’t mean to say I haven’t had weight issues. I’m only talking about having 1 stone to get rid of rather than 10 but the problem was still real to me.
I think the biggest I’ve ever been was when I was at university, drinking quite alot. I reached about 10 stone but somehow was never considered big or overweight for my 5 foot 4 inch frame. I must have ‘carried it well’.
After I left university one of the many jobs I had was as an aerobics instructor and so I slimmed down and got toned but was never super slim. Although I didn’t carry that on after a knee problem I somehow managed to stay around the 9 stone – 9 stone 4lb mark.
Health conscious but with a sweet tooth
I have always been reasonably health conscious and done some form of exercise, had various gym memberships, etc but still had a sweet tooth and snacked and picked at all kinds of rubbish. But the fact I did exercise seemed to keep my weight relatively stable despite the snacking.
I knew I was eating for the hell of it, because I was bored, fed up, lonely … but rarely when I was feeling at my best and happy.
A radical but impractical change
About 5 years ago I decided to change my eating habits as I wanted to feel better about myself so stopped drinking alcohol and became a vegan.
It was great to begin with and the weight just dropped off me … but it was totally impractical at home. It meant I wouldn’t eat the same thing as my partner or son and so we were preparing different meals. Eating out was a nightmare as we had to scan the menu before going in to a restaurant to check whether there was something I was prepared to eat. After a while, in the interest of making life easier at home, I started introducing things back in to my diet to the extent I now eat just about anything, so the weight just crept back on.
Healthy … but not according to others
Then a couple of years ago I went away for a week to a health retreat. The average weight loss for the week of anyone who went was 6lbs. I lost 10lbs and came back weighing 8 stone 4lbs and discovered to my absolute delight I was now a size 8.
I felt amazing. Totally cleansed, light and fresh and bursting with energy and yet all I heard from those closest to me was how I’d lost too much, was skin and bone, didn’t have any meat left on me … No-one seemed to see or appreciate just how healthy I finally was and how incredible I felt.
The weight crept back on. It was a gradual thing but it came back none the less. Sweets reappeared in my hand at the checkout and were eaten in the blink of an eye. Even so, I was active and so it took a while to show. I’m not sure anyone else even noticed, but I did.
Coming to face to face with the real problem
I became very conscious about 6 months ago that I had got in to a bad pattern again. I knew something fundamental was wrong but just didn’t want to go there. Then, in September, I came across the How Many Calories Toolkit. Working through it helped me realise and admit what the real problem was.
Although I loved my partner he wasn’t ‘the one’ for me. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to admit. But the problem didn’t end there because knowing what was going on wasn’t enough to resolve things. I had to do something about it.
For a couple of weeks my sugar binge got worse as I put off voicing problem and I reached 9 stone 7lbs – an absolute upper limit in my mind. That might not sound heavy to some but it I felt big and very uncomfortable in my skin.
And then my partner and I had a chat. Wow – that was tough! But after lots of tears we agreed to go our separate ways as friends.
Flicking the switch
After our chat he went out to get some lunch, asked if I wanted anything and suggested a doughnut. I immediately said ‘no’ before I realised I’d even opened my mouth to speak. It was as though someone had flicked a switch and I no longer needed to eat crap.
3 weeks on and I’m now 9 stone simply by eating normally. I haven’t snacked, picked or binged and have had no desire to. It just doesn’t occur to me. I don’t even notice the chocolate and bags of sweets at the check out any more.
What happens next?
Although I now understand why I was eating the way I was and have resolved the problem, I will still carry on with the Toolkit until the end of the programme because I want to make sure I get every last drop out of it, particularly about dealing with sabotage from others. I’ve allowed other people’s opinions about my slimmer size set me back before now and I’m determined not to let that happen this time.
Having said that, I am so much happier in my own skin now that I really don’ t think that will be a problem any more.
So, it’s been tough but absolutely worth it. Yes, I’ve ended a relationship but know I still have a friend for life and we are both happier as a result. So, thank you Stephen for making the How Many Calories Toolkit available as I wouldn’t have found and resolved my problem and come out the other side so much happier and slimmer without it.